Day 52: The Joy of Blogging?
This daily blog post project is becoming more like some kind of weird diary. At least that’s how I feel at the moment.
For those who have been following this project i.e. my mum, muchas gracias big time for reading I love you big one lets celebrate together for being just over half way through this 100-day challenge.
I definitely cannot wait to be finished.
I’ve had my good days and my not so good days with this so far. The good days are when my mind is running and I feel like I can write for days that’s usually when I feel like I’m spewing a whole bunch of rubbish that surely no one will ever be bothered to read (thanks again mum).
The not so good days are when 20 minutes of writing feels like 20 years and my mind feels completely empty, like and empty can kind of empty. There’s some kind of noise but no sense to it. Just loud and messy. incoherent thoughts some kind of weird unclear confusion. Feeling confused but not knowing what I’m confused about.
Those are the days that I try to write about a particular topic in order to bring about some kind of sense and bring something into being that actually has meaning.
But those are usually the posts that I do feel less motivation to write because that flow is just not there.
As I haven’t been taking enough time to read what I’ve been writing of these posts so far in my own mind I have assumed what I think will be complete nonsense are perhaps and most likely in my mind the posts written in the state of boredom or the unwillingness to write and I have forced myself because that is what it takes to maintain the discipline of completing this challenge that I set myself.
I wouldn’t feel good if I gave up especially knowing that I’m halfway through. I must maintain it as I firmly believe that there will be some kind of benefit or lesson in this at least by the end.
It could be as little as just having a collection of 100 blog posts to look at and feeling the satisfaction of having completed the full thing. Knowing that actually even though I struggled to write most days I still did it. I still managed to fight against the grain.
Maybe I will find that my thoughts are not always a complete jumbled mess. Maybe when I read through my blog posts after the 100 days, they will make some sense. Maybe I’ll be able to take the best of the worst and make something brilliant.
I doubt very much that I’ll do another writing challenge like this. Mostly because I have already started another blog and doing this challenge has in some ways put me a little behind on that than I would have liked to be.
I think one positive from that though is that I actually really want to work on my other blog and I have so many ideas for blog posts and I’ve been taking notes and writing down different points that I can expand on. In know that I want to create posts that even I a non-reader would be happy to read because the posts are to the point and they have pictures and colours of course.
I want to create blog post that look beautiful and make the viewer feel excited to read them and have a feeling of happiness because its not just black words on a white page.
So, I may not be excited about this blog right now but I think I’m starting to feel genuinely excited about blogging.