Day 12: Am I Black Enough? part 5
Yes, I am thanks, I am black enough. Its part of who I am and how I identify myself, whatever it means and whatever it is. I as a black woman have never desired to be anything else but myself. Whatever my personality is, it is black because I am black. I am African, I am Caribbean, while being a British born and raised, diaspora (whatever that means) not fully chocolate but not totally light skinned, happily black Muslim woman. I have never wished to be anything else. Even on the days when I thought I would give up on trying to comb my hair because it wouldn’t behave itself, even on the days when I felt that I was being treated differently because of the colour of my skin or my heritage, even on the days when I felt that I was the only person in this world who felt like me. Even then, because I have never ever wanted to be anything else except myself. It matters not to me what others think of me and what privileges they seem to have due to their status or the colour of their skin. I love the skin that I’m in, its very comfortable. I love looking younger that my age, I love being the person that has never fit in with any crown yet happily blends in wherever I go because I don’t crave attention or acceptance from anyone or anything. I’m happy being the invisible woman in the room, you may think that as a Muslim woman in a face veil that my veiling has made me that way but that’s not the case, I have always been that way. Seen and never seen. Without a care yet always caring.
You see my blackness is who I am but it is not all of who I am. I am a human being with a soul, that soul has the ability to connect with other souls of like minds regardless of the colour of the shell they inhabit in this world. That soul is only interested in connecting with other souls whose minds and thoughts are not weighed down and tied to what is temporary and superficial. This soul is not interested in being shackled by the perceptions and the thoughts of others who have been conditioned to believing that their shell that their soul occupies for a temporary period is what is most important. It is interesting in seeing the souls of others and connecting in a realm that cannot be seen with the naked eye yet the eyes of the soul can see.
And this is why I love myself, because I am black enough, because I am more than just black and I know that. I am black enough, I am human enough, I am more than enough.